I can’t remember when it all started. All I remember is that I grew up in a family where chaos was inevitable. I had a drunkard for a father and a very submissive (and not in a good way) mother. This composed most of my nights of screaming, crying and seeing my mother get beat up. We were all in the same room because we were living with a relative (We’re a poor family. Well, we wouldn’t be if my father didn’t use much of it on alcohol). This continued for years until my mom and dad got separated. Life got better in some ways.
I lived with my mom while my father lived with his brother. I see my dad regularly and he pays for my education. We weren’t financially stable because my grandma used much of our money gambling. There would even be days when we can’t buy enough food for a day. There would be days wherein my mom and dad fight over expenses because my father refused to help us in different ways.
He thinks paying my tuition is enough (w/c was okay with me, btw). Blah blah blah. My uncle lost his job so he and his son moved in. I never saw my uncle as an adult. He was very irresponsible. He kept on borrowing money from my mom and spending it on useless stuff. My grandparents never changed. They use the money allotted for food for gambling. My father lost his job 2 years ago but he still does his ‘obligation’ which was to pay for my tuition fee. He gets the money through his mom.
So right now, I’m stressed physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. I’m tired with school works, exams and professors. I know it’s every student’s complain but in my defense, I really don’t see the point in putting most of my efforts in studying anymore because I don’t know if I’m going to be studying in ust next semester. I don’t know if I’ll be studying at all. Though, I am still thankful that I got the chance to study in ust.
My father doesn’t know where to get the money anymore because he still doesn’t have a job. My mother can’t help either because all her money goes to the bills, the house and for food. What I wrote is only a small fraction of what I really am experiencing and feeling right now. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to feel. I’m just so tired.
To those people who comment non-sense statements, comment all you want. I might not be here the moment this gets posted.
University of Santo Tomas